You ever see one? Ever talk to one? Maybe you even know one? I’m talking about that argumentative, fist shaking get off of my lawn cantankerous old man! You know the kind? Always talking about how the “Good old days!” were so much better than today? Well we got one of our very own and today he’s going to rant about how food was better back in his day. Best put the children to bed first though! Our Grumpy old man can get riled up at times and has been known to use some —let’s say? — old colorful language.
During your daily travels, you have most likely at one time or another, come across a “Grumpy old Man.” Perhaps in a coffee shop, at a check-out line, or on a bus? And these quick infrequent meetings are more times than not just little amusing incidents that are soon forgotten. But it’s a totally different story if your grumpy old man is your neighbor, relative or co-worker. Or heaven forbid — Your Father? Or Your Mate? YIKES!
Now we all get a little Grumpy from time to time, for me it happens when I’m really hungry! But that’s not what we’re talking about here today. We’re talking 100% totally committed downright cantankerous Grumpy!
And today we’re going to ask our Grumpy Old Man about what food was like in his day? Has it really changed that much? Did it taste better? Was it better for you?— Let’s see what he’s got to say about that!
NOTE: Disclaimer; Grumpy old men have a tendency for foul language so if’n your too young or too modestly mannered? Best you not proceed!
As for the rest of you, let’s all put on our Grumpy shoes and walk a bit in the name of science and discovery. Take a trip back in the past to the good old days. Sound good? Okay let’s go — You Bunch of Yellow Bellied, Corn Shucking Varmints! (Grumpy old men talk!)
The definition of grumpy: is irritable or grouchy. An example of grumpy is a person who is always complaining and unhappy. The stereotype of the grumpy old man could have its roots in a condition known as irritable male syndrome. Irritable male syndrome (IMS) can be defined as a state of hypersensitivity, frustration, anxiety, and anger that occurs in males and may be associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and “loss of male identity!”
Loss of Male identity? Grumpy old Men are not GRUMPY because their wiener suddenly fell off! Frigging know-it-all morons! We’re Grumpy cause you screwed up all the good things we once had back in the good old days! Including our food! — Loss of Male identity my ass!
THEY MESSED WITH OUR FOOD!
Today we have genetic modifications (GMO’s), growth hormone injections, antibiotics, factory farming and massive corporate agriculture, spraying who knows what on our foods today. Back in the “Good Old Days” none of that stuff was even invented yet! Our home grown food was safe and tasted great!
Strawberries for example, were so sweet they’d make your tongue giggle! They were soft but never mushy, and ripened on the inside too! And no matter where you got them from, they all had that same “Heavenly” sweet taste. A far cry from the genetically modified berries they feed us today!
Today, at least in my area, most are hard and white in the middle with the only taste of sweetness coming from that extra sugar you have to sprinkle on in hopes of resurrecting the berry from your childhood days.
They’re bloody God-awful is what they are! Picked before they’re ready and left to ripen during transportation. Pretty-much dry and tasteless by the time they hit the supermarket shelves.
Even fresh-picked right off the field, I find that most strawberry’s today taste bland. In fact, I’m usually — “Berry disappointed!” Eh? Berry disappointed? — Now that’s old man comedy!
Today’s strawberry is not natures own. It’s man made, either relentlessly cross bred or DNA altered (GMO) they’re now the Frankenstein of berries. They’ve become a “Frankenberry!” (remember the old cereal?) Genetically pulled apart and re-designed probably in some Mad Scientist’s Lab somewhere.
But Why? Why was this unnatural abomination created and the original made to disappear?
For increasing revenue of course! Like everything else those greedy money-sucking A-holes do, in the end it’s always about more Money! And so, Mother Nature’s sweet strawberry was deemed not good enough by the mad corporate scientist’s and their hunched back farmers. They wanted more! — More Money Honey!
Altered to — grow faster and to need less rain! Genetically modified to resist diseases and insects, given unnatural extended life to last longer on the grocery displays and survive lengthy transportation. All by tampering with Mother Nature’s very own aging process and changing her ordered natural genetic codes.
It is Man who has given life to these tasteless (modified yet unlabeled) freaks of nature! And all in the name of greed! — Frigging money-hungry Morons!
It’s sad to think that some of you will never have tasted what nature had originally provided. The sweet and innocent berry, now gone the way of the Dodo! You know? Dodos! Like those greedy sons of bitch’s who made this Happen!
And horrors upon horrors the list is ever so growing! Now with: sugar, corn, apples, tomatoes, plums and sweet peppers all modified to guarantee higher crop yields and yes, more money! — Greedy Corporate pricks! Screwing with Mother Nature just to make a buck!
But if’n your a’ asking me? All they’ve succeeded in doing is removing the good natural taste and textures right out of what Mother Nature had in her wisdom originally put in! — Who the Hell do they think they are? Playing God in Natures’ already perfect Garden!
A-holes! Play with your own Gosh darn food if’n you have to, but keep your greedy dirty little hands off of my dinner! And that’s all I’s got to say about that!
WHAT FOODS TASTED BETTER TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG?
FOOD IN GENERAL
Compared to my day? Food in general tastes like old dried “cow crap!” Not that I’ve ever tried cow crap before but that best describes it! Either that, or it has no real taste at all! At least the supermarket crap they sell us today is like that! Frozen mystery meat and fruits and vegetables that ripen in the truck on the way here. And cheese that is so chemically produced, it can’t even be correctly classified as a food anymore!
And our (who gives a shit) Government lets them feed this crap to us! Those overpaid underhanded deal making Bastards! Do the job you were elected to do ya bums!
Back in the “Good old days” — you had your honest little “Mom and Pop” shops and Country Markets. Fresh baked bread and pies, garden fresh picked fruits and vegetables. And in my time, fresh plastic jugged milk (the one’s with the red handle on top!) Man! Now that was what I called Milk!
You can’t tell me milk didn’t taste better back then! If’n you try, I’ll be a Grump’n up and down the side of your head all day long!
And there were privately owned Butcher shops too, where you went for your fresh meats! And privately owned Bakeries and Pastry shops! These people cared about their product and their customer satisfaction. They had to, or they were out of business faster than you can say “Sugarplum pie.”
The rise of the giant food corporations and demise of the little privately owned food shops is one of the greatest tragedies of our time. And Amen to that brother!
GRUMPY WRAP UP
You ever taste peas picked right out of the garden? So as you had to free ’em first from their pods to get at ’em? Or pick a ripe red tomato right off the vine and let the juice dribble down your chin as you eat em? Taste pretty darn good eh? A lot gosh darn better than that crap they’re a’ selling you for inflated prices down at your local supermarket. Bloody thieves if’n your asking me?
But even then — you’re a ‘still not tasting what I did back in the Good old days! Most of the fruits and vegetables have been so modified and for so long now that even the seeds you planted are most likely from modified stock. Most of you will never again taste Mother Natures bounty as she intended it to be! And that gosh darn it — is a moral bloody shame!
And don’t get me a’ talking about poultry, pork and beef! They put so many unnatural additives in them now, force feed em and inject them with hormones and pharmaceuticals and feed them God knows what? You know the one thing Doctors just won’t eat? Processed food! That includes a lot of your meats! The pre-sliced and packaged ones for sure!
You know, they’ve frigged around so much with our food, trying to make it last longer, look better and process on a grander scale! That it’s almost not even food anymore! Who the Hell knows what these foods are doing to our health? And what about the Government’s Health and safety division? Bought off like the rest of them bums? All I know for sure is food don’t taste like it did way back when — in the “Good old Days!”
ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT’S IN YOUR FOOD TODAY? ARE THERE THINGS THAT YOU JUST WON’T EAT ANYMORE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Okay first off, thank you Mr. Grumpy for your, let’s say, “colorful” take on our foods of today in comparison with what you had back in your time. Really interesting stuff and perhaps “Food for thought” for later? Sorry, it was just too easily there!
Okay people! Does the Grumpy old Man have some valid points? Did food really taste better back in the old days? Or are you thinking that nostalgia has gotten the better of him? Is his memory being influenced by a yearning for a time gone by? Do we not also at times do this? Remember our youthful days with too loyal an admiration? Hmm?
Now the part about how our foods being chemically processed, crossbred and genetically altered for mass production is fact! But are we really being harmed by these processes or helped? There are over 37 million of us in Canada but there are some 7.8 billion of us world-wide. How else can we feed everybody If we don’t make some changes in our food production? — Yet, have they gone too far!
Do genetically modified foods (GMO’s) concern you?
Are you worried what they might be doing to your long-term health?
And did food really taste better back in the Good Old days?
Grumpy Old Man thinks so!
How about You?