We’ve all done it! We’ve all had our little “d’oh” moments. Said something dumb or in reference to someone that we wished later we’d hadn’t. Let loose some not well thought-out words leaving us embarrassed, humiliated and at times very apologetic. We’ve all at one time or another committed “Social Faux Pas” A “stick your foot in your mouth” incident that is of our own doing. The question is — what do we do now?
Life is full of little embarrassing moments and we all have them! And so today on WOW and if you DARE? We want to hear yours! Look we’re all human, make mistakes, and sometimes find ourselves in crazy situations that hopefully, we can laugh about later.
Because in life, sometimes, shit happens!
So here are a couple of examples that have happened to me and that I have “no trouble!” remembering! Even though I mostly would like to forget! Not my most memorable moments no doubt! But In the end, I guess all you can really do is laugh at yourself after the fact.
This one Time when I really — PUT MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH.
DEFINITION: To say or do something inappropriate that you should not have, esp. something that embarrasses someone else: To say something foolish, embarrassing, or tactless. (seeing Mary is larger than normal) John asks “When is the baby due?” — Mary: “I’m not pregnant!”
One of my very first jobs was working at a large manufacturing automobile parts plant. I had just started and hadn’t gotten to know everybody there yet and so I was feeling a little shy and “out of sorts.” I made my way to the cafeteria for break and was surprised (and pleased) to recognize someone from my neighborhood sitting with a couple of guys and having a conversation!
Now I really didn’t know him (more, knew of him) and we had never spoken before but as I came closer I could see he recognized me in the same way. We made our little introductions and he seemed like a good enough guy and as I got to know him better after talking on several more occasions we became more comfortable with each other. Maybe for me, a little too comfortable?
One night (working night shift) we had an extended lunch break for what ever the reason and we got to talking about our survey; where he lived, who we knew and hung out with! One of my work buddies and two of his were also there listening in.
We were reminiscing about some of the crazy times in our area, both present and past and we were having a good old-time laughing about some of the odd-balls that live or had lived in our survey. So I says to him “remember the three older girls (older than me) who lived by themselves on such-and-such street?”
You know! The run down little house with no porch? You know which place I’m talking about right? They had this red front porch light and at night guys were coming and going like seamen on shore leave, if you know what I mean? And they weren’t the best looking girls in the world either! My friend lived across from them and when his parents were out we would turn out the lights and watch them through his front window.
He says ” you talking about the small house with only 3 or 4 concrete steps going up to the front door?” Ya I says, that one! He says “the one directly across from Coopers place?” Ya, I say, You know — where those 3 skanky girls lived. You know the girls I’m talking about right?
“Yes I do!” he says. — “I married one!”
Everyone at the table fell silent, all conversation stopped and all of their eyes seemed to be boring in on me. First thing I thought was — very funny he’s just pulling my leg for a laugh right?
But nobody was laughing — including him!
I can’t remember how I tried to weasel out of what I’d said about those girls and one of which who is now his wife. But it wasn’t pretty! I might of mumbled something about “we’re not talking about the same place” or something to that effect? But both of us knew that we were!
Needless to say we never did become good friends after that!
I sure put my foot in my mouth on that one!
CHRISTMAS FAMILY FEAST
It was Christmas day, this time held at my sisters. A family gathering that most of us who celebrate Christmas go through every year. Family and relatives exchanging gifts, children running around excitedly while the adults sipped their adult drinks and savory smells wafted from the kitchen.
This was perhaps 10 years ago or so and my grandparents had long since passed. My father as well. But those of us left were determined to carry on the family tradition. I knew everybody there of course, except my sisters son’s girlfriend (now married but at the time very pregnant) whom I’d only met once or twice before.
The place was a beehive of activity…
The women were upstairs in the kitchen putting the final touches on the feast they were making while the guys were downstairs watching football, drinking and swapping funny stories. When my sister came down to freshen our drinks she announced that Christmas dinner would soon be ready. Not long now she promised!
The rest of the women joined us downstairs for a quick break as the turkey finished its final few minutes in the oven. We kinda lost time watching the kids play with my sisters dog, teasing him with his squeaky toys and running around after him, but soon my sister rose to go check on the turkey.
My nephew’s girlfriend said she had to go upstairs anyway and would check it for her. Now she was huge in her late pregnancy and being male, I was amazed as I watched this slim girl with a huge extended belly slowly climbing the stairs and in all honesty, I was worried if she’d even make it!
After a time my worry got the best of me and I excused myself saying I needed to use the upstairs bathroom and went up to check on her. When I got to the kitchen she was in the process of taking this big and very heavy looking turkey out of the oven all by herself which (again being male) alarmed me. “Need some help Amber?” I asked, hoping she’d say yes. She kinda smiled at me curiously but said no she had it under control.
The rest of the girls came up and shooed me away saying go back down and get ready, everything was done and supper would soon be served. And a magnificent feast it was. When it was over, the guys started bringing up the empty plates and serving dishes while the girls were rinsing them off readying them for the dishwasher.
So now most of us, if not all, were now gathered in the upstairs kitchen, yakking away at how good the meal was when one of the kids came up to tell us of some food that had gone missing. A full plate of jalapeño poppers someone had made and left on one of the low-lying coffee tables downstairs was empty, when before our meal, it was full? We looked at each other and in unison said — the dog! We all headed downstairs.
Sure enough the plate was empty. Not a single crumb lay anywhere near. And the dog? Well she looked quite content, licking her chops and wagging her tail as she eyed us cautiously from beside the couch. “Did you do this?’ my sister asked her in a rising accusing voice. “Did you eat the food here on the table?” pointing to emphasize exactly where she meant. The dog’s reaction was hilarious. She bowed her head in shame and her eyes got all pleading and remorseful and it was all we could do to not start laughing.
“You know your not suppose to touch our food” she scolded. “Go sit on your blanket. Bad dog “Amber!” — WAIT! WHAT? — AMBER?
The dogs name is AMBER? Of course, I should know this, I’ve been here many times. But? Didn’t I call my nephew’s pregnant gal AMBER? OMG! I think I did? Upstairs when she was taking out the turkey I called her AMBER! The bloody dogs name! You idiot! So now I was feeling more shame than even the poor dog.
And deservedly so!
I looked around the room to find her and there she was smiling knowingly. “I’m?- I’m so sorry” I said. “It’s all right I’ve been called worse” she replied with a smile letting me off the hook. But I was truly embarrassed.
How the hell could I call this poor pregnant girl “Amber” the dogs name for Pete’s sake even though I’ve greeted the dog by name on so many other occasions? And she, new to the family and all, and that was my welcome?
Oh man, I really did it this time!
It was definitely a very Embarrassing Situation.
ITS YOUR TURN!
Okay folks, now that I have let you in on some of my “most embarrassing” moments, I think it only fair that I hear from you? Come on now, don’t be shy, air some of that embarrassing “dirty old Laundry.”
WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS?
THE WORD OF WAYNE
“It took me about a second before I realized I’d done it again. My mouth seriously needed a chaperone.” ― Elise Allen