Our lives may be unique, in experience and environment, but one thing we all have in common are Life-scars. We all carry personal scars, emotional wounds from life’s up and down roller-coaster ride. For many of us, these scars still fester, having never completely healed. And perhaps, never will? Because emotional scars are sometimes well hidden — even to the ones that bear them.
We all carry emotional baggage, old wounds left over from our past. From troubling relationships, with our mates, our parents, siblings or friends — or from past emotionally traumatizing events or bad experiences.
Physical scars heal but the unseen mental scars we carry, sometimes never do. And unhealed emotional scars do more damage than just haunt us with bad memories. They can in fact, change the very way we live our lives.
“The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal” — Astrid Alauda
THE SCARS OF LIFE
Now there are all kinds of emotional trauma that can leave open wounds during our lifetime. Physical, sexual, emotional abuse perhaps the obvious. These, even from childhood can linger and cause mental anguish in adulthood. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) another well-known cause of emotional disorder. Any of these left alone to their own progression can emotional scar one for life.
Death of a loved one can be a very traumatic experience. Going through a long terminal illness with someone you love can be emotionally devastating. As can a sudden unexpected loss, or the emotional unraveling of loosing a child. A horrible grief unending. Truly an emotional scar for life.
So trauma and tragedy head the emotional scarring list, but by far they are not alone. Depending on personal experience, vulnerabilities and circumstance, the list can be vast and varied.
From the innocence of childhood to the cognitive chaos of our teenage years, emotional-scarring for some, starts early in life. After all, these are delicate years, years of not only physical growth but of emotional as well. An awkward stage of emotional upheaval, one in which we are emotionally exposed, defenseless and most vulnerable to scarring.
Emotional wounds of youth often remain with us throughout our lives. Even compilations of past events, detrimental to our youthful psyche, can play havoc with our self-esteem later in life.
The most damaging of course is Childhood abuse, both physical and verbal. In our sensitive teenage years, where self-esteem can easily become damaged and set a tone of discomfort for years down the road; Obesity, bullying, teasing, peer pressure and low status of acceptance to name a few.
All of these, in the right circumstance, can lead to mental scarring. They all can have an impact on how we perceive ourselves going forward. Self-esteem scarring can last a lifetime. Baggage of burdens we carry with us into our adulthood years and beyond.
Yet, emotional-scarring doesn’t end in adulthood. Relationship scarring is very prominent in a society bent on selfish individual desires, ego, pride and lack of commitment. Who among us haven’t endured an emotional breakup? A boyfriend or girlfriend, a long-term relationship or marriage that abruptly ends. Perhaps leaving feelings of rejection, lost-hope or personal failure. Damaging blows that leave scars to our self-esteem.
Many of us overcome, rebound and carry on, our scars healing with the passing of time. Yet for others, the damage remains. Becomes part of us, part of who we are. An emotional burden, forever to be carried.
Relationship rejections, can indeed damage self-esteem. Scarring us so badly that the wound never heals. Changing life perception’s, initiating future relationship fears leading to social indifference. Even social avoidance, turtling our heads back into our protective emotional shell.
— Never again wanting to feel the hurt of rejection.
Do you know of someone, like this? Someone who has taken to extremes to hide from rejection? Who carries emotional scars from the past and cannot overcome the damage to their self-esteem? Who instead, socially hides in protection, unwilling to chance opening old wounds of perceived inadequacies, lost love and relationship failure.
I myself, know of a person like this. They have been this way now, for well over half their life. It’s sad, depressing and frustrating. Frustrating because all well-intentions to intervene have been futile. Their Life-scar, so overwhelming, gone on now for so long that sense and rationality can no-longer overcome it. Change is now permanent! — They will be this way for the rest of their lives!
Such is the power of emotional scarring. From childhood bullying to fragile self-esteems — to the burning rejection of a failed relationship and many more… I’m sure I’ve missed!
Like how our relationship with fear can scar us …
Emotional scarring events can effect us in many different ways. They can not only change our perception of who we are, but change our sense of the world around us. Like how the death of a loved one, can at times, awaken our own sense of mortality. — The fear of death that’s hidden inside most of us.
An old friend of mine was dealing with the loss of his mother. His stage of grieving unusually long and concerning. When he finally reappeared, a different man stood before me. One of religion, a side I’ve never seen in him before. Death had awakened fears of his own mortality and the comforts of an after-life his choice of resolution.
Yet this change in him grew leaps and bounds. His new-found belief’s growing obsessive, becoming almost fanatical, consuming his life. Unrecognizable is he now from the man I once new. The fear of death all consuming, driving his obsessive dedication to reaching heaven. Heaven, where death cannot strike, or so the story goes. The emotional scar of awakened mortality, changing his life forever.
Not only his life — but of those around him!
We all carry emotional baggage. Life-scars from a personal and unique journey. Stories of emotional trauma, memories of burden and open wounds that refuse to heal.
Yet, as a highly emotional species, is it any wonder that we suffer so? That we must deal with emotional retainment, both good and bad, during the journey of our lives.
Perhaps in the end, it comes down to Acceptance.
Accepting that the human experience is fraught with emotional turmoil. And the effects are unavoidable!
— Life leaves scars!
Perhaps how we deal with them
Is what truly matters!