The Waiting-It-Out Pandemic Blues

Under the dark shadow of the pandemic, days of sunshine and lollipops are nowhere to be found. Dark and dreary our forecast, daily smiles dipping to an all-time low. Not that anyone would notice, our pearly-whites well-hidden behind protecting masks. Social restrictions, lockdowns and increasing isolation giving rise to bouts of depression in an already mentally exhausted population. Even the very strong, now feeling the effects of the “Waiting-It-out” Pandemic Blues.

I used to be a motivated individual. Got things done when needed and rarely a procrastination in-between. In fact, “I’ll do it tomorrow instead” was not even part of my vocabulary. Even the small mundane chores that didn’t need doing asap — like paying a month-ending bill, going for groceries or fixing the slightly askew kitchen drawer — I’d do without fuss and be done with it!

But things have changed. With the ceaseless continuation of the pandemic, I’ve noticed in me a growing trend. A resistance to my former promptness of getting things done. A reluctance in motivation for attending to the little things in life. More and more I find excuses, petty ones in most cases, and the words “I’ll do it tomorrow” spoken with increasing regularities.

With the pandemic came lockdowns, social restrictions and isolation. A challenging turn of normalcy but one that afforded me plenty of time to address life’s little chores. Instead, the exact opposite happened and what once was a little turn towards self-indulgence has become an alarming life-style change. A change where procrastination is an everyday thing, almost like I’m living life — in “put-it-off” mode.

What once was a daily exercise program, rigidly adhered-to, has become “I better do it today, since I’ve missed the last two.” My better go for groceries changed to “I can make it through till next week.” And my little household fix-ups that I’ve got plenty of time for, suddenly ” I just don’t feel like doing.”

Apparently my get-up-and-go — has got-up-and-went!

Okay, not the end of the world, right? A little Covid-depression, some social isolation backlash is all. But it gets worse! I’ve put on a little weight eating junk-food that I never would touch before and find myself flipping aimlessly through the mind-numbing crap on TV.  Stopping at the news and screaming obscenities at the mindless government talking-heads until turning the channel before anger gets the best of me.

Reading for knowledge, one of the pleasures in my life, now more a chore of focus and attending to my blog becoming the same. A cloud of indifference follows me, wherever I go.

The pandemic has affected everybody and everyone, each of us a little differently. As part of the age-group near the danger zone, I see now it has affected me as well!

Not with fear or trepidation, nor anxiety or depression (though perhaps just a little.) No, I think what I’ve got is the blues. A bad case of the “waiting-it-out” pandemic blues.

Waiting it out until my turn at inoculation. Biding my time, staying at home and limiting my chances of exposure. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of the outside world, I venture out when need be and without major concern. But I do not do so, haphazardly!

As a high-risk candidate of problematic infection, risk vs reward has become a concern.

But Isolation itself, doesn’t scare me. I’ve always been comfortable in my own skin. I function just fine and thank you, when left to my own doings. Yet now, for the very first time, I’m starting to feel the weight of social confinement. Wishing for something I have no control of, to come to an end.

Look, we’re all tired of this effing pandemic. Tired of tip-toeing around in fear of catching it. Tired of the social restrictions, lockdowns and being stuck in the house for long periods of time. It’s making us stressful, anxious and moody and with a vaccine on the way — restless for days of yore.

And now I too have this restlessness. Hoping my turn at inoculation will be soon. But the timeline for soon in my country (Canada) keeps lengthening. Vaccinations for all promised this spring, then this summer and now not until the fall.

That’s another eight months from now, as I write this, and no surprise if longer. I can’t help thinking what my pandemic-blues will look like by then. I’m already pacing my cage like a wild animal, prone to bouts of indifference, uninterest and bordering rages of lunacy.

Still, in reality, my affliction is petty compared to the sufferings of others. What they have gone through or are still going through incomparable to my trivial unrest.

Maybe, I’m even lucky.

Lucky to only be suffering from…

The waiting-it-out Pandemic blues.

WordofWayne©

 

 

 

 

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26 thoughts on “The Waiting-It-Out Pandemic Blues

  1. Unfortunately, lot of us have to deal with the effects of social isolation imposed by the pandemic, and suffer from lesser or greater degrees of mood changes/depression as a result. Hope the sun comes out soon for you, as well as for the rest of us. In the meantime, know that your words resonate with your readers, and carry power. Wishing you brighter days.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, have you inherited the art of reading others’ minds during this period of self-isolation.
    You could have been reading from my playbook and copying the contents of same.
    We too seem to be in a holding pattern re “when we might possibly get our shots.”
    The other day I did get through and could have secured an appointment BUT the site was 4 – got that – FOUR hours away and that was one-way.
    So, we are back to the waiting game as well. Will I get some little jobs done around the house? Possibly! Will I read some of the many books I have downloaded to my Kindle? Possibly. Only time will tell. And I won’t even go into diet and exercise. But, I do intend to give the latter two items the old college try. Problem is, I never graduated from college! 😁 Stay safe and well my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for expressing these feelings that I have experienced deeply as well. It makes me sink inward as it is such a lonely battle. Thank you for sharing and for the reminder that we are not alone in these feelings. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nice to hear from you Sara! And you bet, it’s important to know we are not in this alone even though sometimes it sure feels that way. Sharing our hopes, our fears and experiences can only help in getting us through this crisis together. Be well Sara — be safe and stay strong!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Yes sir! This pandemic is really getting on people’s nerves I think at some point I got so low I didn’t care if I ate, slept or went to work. I just laid there in my bed occasionally checking my phone for updates and the news only got worse. So I closed my shop and quarantined in fear. At some point, after a few weeks, I just came to my senses and realized it’s the fear thats doing more damage to me and I reopened my shop. My blog has suffered quite a bit too I find myself really forcing posts they don’t come to me as they usually did but I’m grateful for your support sir. You and Mr Ap2 kept me going with the blog.

    This year I’ve rediscovered myself. Feeling very positive and reminding myself that only I can allow negative thoughts and feelings to come in so I dont.
    Hope you find you groove too. Have yourself a positively charged day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Francis. What an excellent comment! You have an open and honest way of expressing yourself my friend, its no-wonder your blog is rising in success. So glad to hear you’ve overcome your pandemic blues and your discovery of pushing aside negative thoughts inspiring. Well-done!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. We are luckier than many others Wayne, but still the frustration and anxiety is there – even if it belongs to someone else we empathically pick up on it and it depresses us. If my country had not politicized it, we’d be a lot further down the road to controlling it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your right Harold, the Pandemic-blues are definitely on the low end of the spectrum. Still, I’m assuming more rampant among the aged than the young. And dare I say, more among the sane than among the non-believers. Or those that do believe but just don’t care!

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      1. It certainly does. But then I compare myself to a starving African and the shame really descends. A world where poverty and misery are the lot of the majority and wealth beyond dreams the luck of a miniscule minority.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, we all get the blues sometimes, but a years worth of pandemic fatigue — and cracks in our mental armor begin to show. Still like you said there is hope. Stiff upper-lip and carry on is all we can do. Thanks HensBlooms, be well!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You summed it up perfectly, Cowboy, and we’re all feeling it. The bottom line though, as you noted, is that it could be critically worse — hooked up to machines in a hospital — so best to thank your lucky stars and make the most of the isolation. (Just between you and me, waiting for and counting on the vax may not be the answer — documented cases of unknown and lingering after-effects,)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yep, they said a small percentage of the population would have allergic reactions. I’ll take my chances anyways because soon or later my luck will run out and Covid-Corky will be in one Hell of a mess.

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  7. I feel you Wayne. We recently moved and so have tons of stuff to do – but “tomorrow is another day” easily pops in our heads when time to do something. We’ve lived in 3 different communities over the past several years and wouldn’t you know it, the other 2 have received their vaccines with one community already have been given their 2nd shot, and the park we left has about 2vweeks yet and they will have received their 2nd shot. And here we are still waiting. And to add insult to injury as the saying goes, Publix – one of our major food supermarkets here in FL and their Headquarters are here in Polk County – has been given the go ahead to provide the vaccine – but are you ready for this … not in our county – the county where their headquarters are and where they opened their first store. We are on several lists, Polk County, our community, and our Doctor’s office. You’d think those of us past the age of 80 would be some of the first. And so the waiting game continues as does our trying to figure out what we want/need to do to keep both mind and body active and healthy. We are in this together my friend so hang in there and keep posting as I look forward to reading your posts. Stay safe my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. WOW, what a string of bad coincidence! An amazing tale of near-misses! Your thoughts here Irwin are important because those not in the vulnerable age-group as we are have a hard time relating to our fears.

      So let’s hope we both “get the poke” and soon my friend! And stay safe because we’re in the home stretch now and to get knocked out of the race at this point? Well, let’s not even go there!

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  8. Wonderful post Wayne. I feel you. I’m feeling completely stultified by the pandemic as well. My kids don’t let me think too much – have to do what I can when I can – which is a blessing. Still my mind can’t help but hope for a return to some sort of normality. The Stoics tell us to concentrate and hope only within our circle of control. That’s all well and good but I still believe the human spirit wasn’t meant to spend so much time in isolation. It desires changing horizons and new occasions. When day after day merges into one another it crushes the soul. Take it easy Wayne and stay save. Vigilance till the end is required as hard as that is. Things will change. Seasons will end. As will your blues. 🙏

    Liked by 2 people

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